the partae

Miss The Goalie is your debut single and it has a powerful, raw feel to it. What was the moment when you realized the song was finished after that one take?

The first guitar take I did was just recorded on an iPhone in the bedroom. I didn’t know it was finished then, but I did know the idea had legs. And if an idea’s got legs and you don’t follow it, it’ll run away from you. Particularly if you’re autistic and you can’t get back into the feeling. I kept exploring and knew it was done by the end of the night. It was sunset, and it was finished within probably two and a half hours. There was some fiddling and stuff that needed to happen of course, but as a concept it felt complete. I loved the rawness and I knew I didn’t want to lose that, so the original iPhone guitar take made it into the finished song. I’ve got some of the most beautiful quality microphones, but that first take captured the feeling of the song so perfectly I just had to trust it.

You’ve mentioned the challenging recording process with buzzing strings and an out-of-tune guitar. How did those imperfections add to the soul of the song?

The song’s not in concert tuning, and it worked in my favour in the end. Instead of trying to switch tasks and tune the instrument in a conventional way, I just got to stay with writing the song, and for me that’s the key. Momentum, motion, no interruptions. I didn’t have to change the tuning pegs. I didn’t have to worry. A tuning peg can be enough to derail my performance on a bad day. But the imperfections lead to more interesting harmonies. They’re not usual. You want to bend those notes. Not a quarter and certainly not an eighth. Something a bit prime, a seventh perhaps. And it’s those subtle differences that give Miss the Goalie all its soul.

Your music explores deep themes like powerlessness, regret, and hope. What inspired the storytelling behind Miss the Goalie?

I think the main inspiration for the song is being autistic and not being allowed to live as myself. It’s not reflective of the experience of my life, but how I believe other people should view life – with enduring hope and optimism about what’s possible, even when mistakes are made. With freedom. And with love, always. “Another baby, love is bold” It’s not about my life at all. That’s one of the reasons I love the song. It’s my comment on other things outside of me, but informed by my perspective as an autistic artist. The song is definitely idealistic. But it’s also, it’s a laissez-faire idealism. It’s certainly not committed to one way or the other. You get to listen to it and take what you want from the story.

Being an artist living with autism and ADHD, how does your neurodivergence influence your creative process and your approach to music? 

All are neurodivergent in art, my love. At least that’s what I believe! My creative process rests entirely on me being myself, not masking or trying to fit in with other people’s ideas or expectations of what I should be. I think that’s true for everyone, irrespective of how neurodivergent they are. If you can’t be yourself, how can you create from the heart? I take medication for my ADHD, but I don’t need it to focus. My mind is like a laser for a song, and sometimes I can get lost in it for hours. Einstein famously said “creativity is intelligence having fun.” I think that’s the key. My best art is made when I have the space to be myself and play and have fun. 

You’ve said that you write best when empowering the broad nature of your neurodiversity. Can you share more about how you balance this with your music creation?

Hmm, I don’t! It’s impossible to balance. My earliest memories are of me turning shapes and writing songs. I can’t balance it. But I accept that I can’t balance it. And that’s where the neurodiversity comes in. Acceptance is the key. I think it’s always just about acceptance and support. I think everyone needs support to create.

There’s no writer’s block. There’s no lack of spark. If I feel it, I’ll write it. And then from there, I can’t control it. No amount of medication helps to control that creative spark. I can’t reel it in. I could be walking out the door and have an idea, and I’ll have to come back inside and be with it until it’s complete. So the only way to manage it is to accept that it can’t be controlled.

And with the autism, I know that there are certainly things that I’m never going to be able to do. And the art’s always just going to feel like it’s getting away from me even if I get support. That’s just the nature of my mind because it’s so quick. I can’t keep up with my brain. I’ll never be able to. But again, I accept that, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

The line, ‘pluck another soul, another baby, love is bold’, carries a lot of meaning. How do you approach writing lyrics that mix dark humor with hope? 

I don’t think about it. That’s the key. If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry! And the key is to not think too much about the agony. The key is to feel the hope. And, you know, love believes. Hope believes love is sure. I love. Hope has been a fickle, fickle mistress to me. But at the same time, hope is everything, hence constantly in the 2 minutes 10 or however long the song is, I just keep saying “another baby, love is bold” because that’s the key meaning. And it’s humbling to share the music and see that I’ve clearly got key aspects of the message across.

How did working with Peter Holtz on mixing and mastering shape the final sound of Miss the Goalie? 

It was totally in line with the beginning of the concept in that I had to embrace building on what we had. And, you know, Peter’s worked with people much higher up than me. And much shinier stuff. I’m not shiny. I was born poor and disabled with no support. So working with Peter was critical. He’s kind, and that enabled me to just have a little bit of time to go back to the concept. Remember, it’s about freedom. The song’s about freedom. And freedom meant that we had to use what we had. We had cicadas all through the mix. Dead set. A wet room. Guitar takes on an iPhone. Peter instinctively went to the sort of retro vintage kind of reverby sound. He got the vibe instantly, intuitively. He was brilliant to work with.

You’ve spent many years writing and recording music for your own joy and expression, how does it feel to now be sharing your art with a wider audience? 

I’m incredulous! My overriding feeling is that I hope the song is ready. It’s like having a child leave the nest in a way. So I do hope it’s ready to fly. I’m hyperactive, so I’m always writing. And have been since I was a child. But again, I’ve never felt like I was writing for me. Songs are born in my mind, they’re separate from me. I do wonder if I might feel that more now, and I hope I do, because if I’m writing for me, I reckon that means I’m happy. 

Your home studio in the northern suburbs of Melbourne sounds like a special place for you. How does the environment you record in influence the music you create?

My environment is everything. Writing Miss the Goalie, I felt free. I felt relaxed and safe. I felt autonomous. I was happy. It was a beautiful day. And I think you can feel that in the song. You can feel the environment. It was definitely a safe one. It was a charmed focus. The sun was behind clouds. And while it was hot and a bit sticky, it wasn’t overbearing. Everything about it was perfect for its timings, its sunset, the sense of freedom, the absence of medication (I don’t need it when I’m in safe spaces!). The only thing I was missing was a cocktail, but I wasn’t going to risk derailing the song for that!

I always think you have two options when it comes to where you’re writing and recording. You can accept the environment or you can reject the environment. And both are powerful options. I do both. I accept and reject every environment I’m in and I don’t find that in any way dissonant or contrasting. I find that to be me. I find that to be the world, the universe, art. Paint everything. So, what’s the environment? What have you got? Where are you? Paint everything. Safe, unsafe, paint. And see where you land. You can absolutely hear and feel the environment in everything I create – good and bad.

Now that your debut single is out, what can fans expect next from you? Are there any future projects or performances on the horizon? 

What a great question. I wouldn’t know about anything to do with, you know, organisational stuff, but there’s definitely no shortage of creative material to share. For me, hyperactive as I am, that means I have 130 songs that are ready to go. To say I write a song a day would be an understatement. I can’t sleep unless you let me write a song. And I usually share everything I’m working on on socials, so at a minimum, new material will be debuted there.

But which direction I take depends on how the audience connects with Miss the Goalie. And I do hope they connect with it. If it were up to me, I’d release a song a week! But I’d definitely say you can expect another one from me before the end of the year.

As for performances? I love to perform and I love to directly make people happy. I’m as hyperactive as I am flamboyant, and totally at home on the stage. Getting me there though? That’s another battle, and requires lots of disability support to pull off. Which isn’t always forthcoming, but I hope that changes. 

And if I get any luck, I would definitely love to send some songs to other artists. I write in a lot of styles. My creative output is really high, not because I’m so great, but because I just can’t sit still!

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